Which way to go?

Published November 23, 2012 by Kate

A few weeks back, my Mom came to stay with us for a week – I was having my gallbladder removed – believe me, I tried to ignore the fact that it needed to come out – for two years, but finally the thing refused to be ignored, a surgery date came up, and bippity bop – the deed was done…. I just needed to rest and relax for a few days, all is good now…

But.. .while I was resting, my dear Mom took care of the household things – like dishes, laundry and letting the dog out occasionally.. On one early morning, while taking care of said dog,  my Mom heard a husband and wife goose family talking on the lake… One deep baritone voice kept saying … “North, North” and a higher toned voice would say “South, South” This argument kept on for quite a while – I’m hoping the wife goose won the argument, as winter is coming…

Thanks for being there Mom!!

Bullying! Really? But we are adults!!

Published October 15, 2012 by Kate

Workplace Bullying is well defined in this link

Typology of bullying behaviours

With some variations, the following typology of workplace bullying behaviours has been adopted by a number of academic researchers. The typology uses five different categories.

  1. Threat to professional status – including belittling opinions, public professional humiliation, accusations regarding lack of effort, intimidating use of discipline or competence procedures
  2. Threat to personal standing – including undermining personal integrity, destructive innuendo and sarcasm, making inappropriate jokes about target, persistent teasing, name calling, insults, intimidation
  3. Isolation – including preventing access to opportunities, physical or social isolation, withholding necessary information, keeping the target out of the loop, ignoring or excluding
  4. Overwork – including undue pressure, impossible deadlines, unnecessary disruptions.
  5. Destabilisation – including failure to acknowledge good work, allocation of meaningless tasks, removal of responsibility, repeated reminders of blunders, setting target up to fail, shifting goal posts without telling the target.

I came to work early, stayed late, just to try to keep up with the mountains of work this person wanted done – it was never good enough – I was told that I wasn’t good enough, that I was unreliable, unable to keep up with the workload, my attitude wasn’t in line with everyone else, I was resistant to change.   But I know my work was good – I’m a clever cookie, I was kind to our clients, I got the tasks done, I was pleasant to my co-workers, said good morning and good night to everyone – even if they didn’t respond back (which was often – no one at the office wanted to be seen talking to me),  if I had a concern, I spoke to my manager – who I thought was supportive, but in truth – had no backbone and had no desire to help, didn’t acknowledge that the director was being a bully –  but now I realize that she too, like everyone else in that organization, was afraid of losing their job – if they spoke out about an issue, then they would become the focus of this bully and at this point, all the focus was on me – and they (the management) liked that.  I went to work every day for a year with that sick feeling, the feeling that today will be a good day –  nope – I left work every day in tears, feeling like a failure and worse – feeling like maybe this bully was correct.  (I was actively looking for new employment during this time – just to let you know)

Where were these people who cared, when going through this horrible experience.   Oh yes, there is the supportive husband, the caring friends – but its the ones living it with you, your co-workers, witnessing the bad behavior, the ones that say – oh what a shame – and yet can do nothing about it – something as simple as saying – In this organization, believe in our Statement of Values and Principles

  • RESPECT
    We value and have consideration for ourselves and others, believing in the inherent worth of each individual. We regard each other as having equal value, worth and dignity.

    EMPATHY
    We have the capacity to participate in another’s feelings or ideas and are willing to do so. We care for each other and for each other’s needs.

    INTEGRITY
    We value honest, sound, genuine relationships and act accordingly. We accept responsibility for our obligations and are answerable for how we meet them.

    COLLABORATION
    We are committed to a process where all ideas and input are heard and considered and where decisions are made by consensus whenever possible.

    CONFIDENTIALITY
    We will act in a professional manner with information that is shared.

    CLIENT CENTREDNESS
    The intent of all that we do is for the good of the client.

    QUALITY IMPROVEMENT
    We continuously strive to improve the service we provide to each other, our clients and our community.

Did anyone besides me, point out this to the bully?   Nope…    I believe that Statement of Values and Principles means nothing to the bully!

I spoke out,  talked about how unhappy I was with everything going on – tried to discuss workload, low morale of staff – instead – I got fired – without case – that’s what the letter said – without cause…
Now there are those that would argue that an employer is entitled to let staff go, if they  want..  Sure…  that’s true… but to fire someone in a way that is totally humiliating to the employee, done in such away that confirms the bullying behaviour of the employer – that is the part that harms, leaving a scar….   My personal items were  inspected before I left, my purse rummaged through, I was escorted out to my vehicle as if I was a criminal! –  All those so-called caring managers and coworkers, did they call me, did they reach out to me to let me know they cared – No…  the few that did call me, are the ones that I always had considered friends.. the others…were too concerned about their own jobs to reach out.

If I didn’t have the support of a loving husband, family and true friends, this situation may have ended differently.

So why do I let the bullying behaviour continue?  The other day, over a year later, I actually hid from the person who fired me, I hid!!!   I was so angry, am still angry with myself…    this person has no power over me anymore – NONE!

I still have nightmares – PTSD of sorts..

From now on, I will stand up for my right to be where I want to be, no one is going to chase me away!

Guten Abend!

Published October 10, 2012 by Kate

Good Evening….. Guten Abend   – makes me laugh every time my friend C. says Guten Abend… and its not even Halloween yet…. 

I’m not at Table Six, I’m in the back office at the computer shop where my Honey works…  Its kinda dark and lonely here…  and even though I’m enjoying my Mocha, its not as good as sitting at Table 6 in the little cafe.  Maybe on Friday..

I’ve been on the surgery list for nearly two years – to have my galbladder removed – and that I’ve been on the list for nearly two years has been my fault entirely, I got called several times with a date – I couldn’t put it off any longer – as any of you know with gallbladder issues, enough is enough – as my dearest friend H. stated – ‘get that thing outta there’

To be honest, I think I’m looking forward to the recovery time more -Not the painful part, but the two weeks off work part – not that I don’t love my job, but to have the license to laze about, that’s golden!   Not to mention that the Crazy Cats and Silly dog are going to love having me around all day!!

I read a very cute and funny book recently – A Dogs Purpose – oh my, I laughed, I cried..   give it a read, its a lovely story.

I also read Emory’s Gift – another funny and lovable story… 

The Library – one of my favourite places, one down on the list from Table Six… 

until next time.. Hope you are having a beautiful day!

Friday’s Five – Things I say!

Published September 28, 2012 by Kate

 A challenge from my dearest friend H. – she asked me to come up with a list for Friday’s Five and I’ve partially failed  – this is what I’ve come up with…..

 It’s not rocket science!  This is context to me explaining anything to anyone!   See how easy this is, it’s not rocket science!   Somewhere in my little brain, I must think rocket science is the hardest thing ever!

 If you always do, what you’ve always done, you always get – what you always got!  – I think of this whenever I have to do something out of my comfort zone, or if I’m unhappy with a situation – instead of doing the same old thing, try something new, deal with the situation differently!  Works every time – even with Angry Birds.

 I’m not addicted!  (Okay, maybe I used to be a little addicted to Farmville and now just a little addicted to Angry Birds – but I could stop at any time)

 Honey!  As in Honey, could you carry the heavy box for me?  Honey, would you let the dog out? Honey, I love you!  Or when talking about my sweet husband – The honey and I are going camping this weekend!

 That’s only four!

 I think a lot of the things I say, aren’t said out loud, I only hear them in my head….  Things said in my head are usually directed at me, and are unkind and not worth repeating out loud.     

 And a lot of the things I say over and over again are directed at the pets – ‘get off the couch’ ‘get off the counter’  ‘come here’ ‘go away’ ‘sit’ ‘stay’ ‘good dog’ ‘bad dog’

 The one thing I do say is ‘I love you’  and you know it’s true! 

(you know who you are!!)

We have three c…

Published June 25, 2012 by Kate

We have three crazy cats..

Crazy Cat #1 – she’s a black, sleek beauty and as only a black cat can be – aloof and regal, she considers herself the queen. Her purr is was defective – she came that way from the shelter we rescued her from. We figured it was because she had so many colds and general poor health – she has since recovered and now purrs quietly when perched on his chest, face to face.

Crazy Cat # 2 – she’s a short hair calico, has the loudest purr of the three. She is a short legged, little headed, football of a cat. She doesn’t self regulate her feeding, she feels she must eat whenever anyone goes near her food dish, hence the football shape… poor thing, I can relate.. Oh, and two of her toes are pink – she doesn’t like it when we point them out to people… so don’t’ mention it if you ever meet her. And, she’s afraid of people – she hides if ever we get visitors… My In-Laws were visiting for three days, she only appeared from her hiding spot, as they were getting ready to leave..  Smart Kitty…

Crazy Cat # 3 – we’ve talked about her before, an orange and while long haired beast. ‘ nuff said.

On Sunday morning, I got up to make coffee, and there is CC#2 sitting on top of the wood stove – right on top – on the warming shelf, looking at the brick wall that has a small two inch ledge about the same height as the warming shelf. She is looking at the shelf/wall as if there will be a portal opening soon, and she’s ready to go through… Nothing would discourage this cat… and she was very animated, she wanted to be up there. At least 10 times, I had words with this cat and yet she persisted on climbing up onto the warming shelf. My dear Honey  took to squirting her with the water bottle – even that didn’t work for long.

My honey and I had several  conversations that went something like this – What’s with your cat? Your cat, I don’t’ have a cat.. . No.. your cat – look at her, she’s going to go through the portal any moment now… and so the day went.

And later that same evening, CC#2 perched on the stove, my dear Honey decided he would remove everything off the ledge, so that it wouldn’t hit the floor at 3:00am when the CC#2 would eventually, inevitably, decide to be on the ledge. So, off goes the year old anniversary cards, the candles and candle holders, the matches for said candles and a few odds and ends… and there in the midst of it all is a wee mousie….a small beady eyed mousie..

So, the Honey and the cats chased it around a bit.. but no luck in catching it…  (I was sleeping already by this time)

This morning.. . the CC#2 and CC#1 were taking turns watching under the fridge, I suspect this is where the wee mousie will spend the day – under the fridge.. It has lots of dust bunnies to keep it company.

Just to let you know, CC#3 was busy looking out the window while all this was going on.. .What mousie? What’s a mousie?

I wonder if the wee mousie lost a dare with its friends… Three cats in this house, and even though they are a bit dim witted, they do have sharp claws..

Its like returning to an old friend

Published March 30, 2012 by Kate

Hi..  how’s it going?

My new job is tons of fun.  Today I got asked to be on the Christmas Luncheon committee – I know – its only March, but still…  so excited.

At my new job – with the help of my Honey, I re-arranged the stuff on my desk, mainly where my computer sits, the keyboard tray is useless to me, so I brought the keyboard to the desk top, put the  computer monitor on an angle on the desktop, (you know how much I like angles) and it feels like it should, like home, like an old friend you haven’t seen in a while..   and all is going very well.

Moving forward, hope to talk to you more often now that life is returning to a calmer pace.

Your old friend

No Observations today!

Published February 11, 2012 by Kate

I just got to share with you – some days happiness involves a bit of high-speed.  Crazy.. when I lived near the big city, I took access to the world wide interweb for granted..  now, to get high-speed, we need to sit in the local coffee shop with our laptops using band width as fast as we drink the coffee.

No Observations of others today.. just me…  here at table 6.